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  Rick caught up to him at the bottom of the stairs. “Thank God you stopped on your own. Didn’t relish the idea of having to tackle you until you came to your senses.”

  Wes laughed lightly until Jill’s apartment door opened. He stepped back into the shadows, pulling Rick with him.

  He glanced up and his breath caught in his throat. Seth walked out, followed by Jill. The man said something to her and Jill smiled when the man hugged her. Wes fought the desire to take the steps two at a time and beat the shit out of Seth.

  He pushed Rick back into a dark corner as Seth came downstairs and left.

  “Now, don’t go jumping to conclusions, Wes,” Rick said, turning to face him.

  Wes leaned against the wall, and his temper snapped. “Too late.”

  “Goddamn it, Wes, that girl would never cheat on you with Seth. You know that.”

  Wes knew his friend was right, but that didn’t erase the image of Jill smiling at Seth, hugging him. Had she told him her secret? Had she confided to Seth all the things she wouldn’t tell Wes?

  “I think maybe it’s time I just accept the truth. She doesn’t love me,” he said, his heart heavy.

  Rick looked surprised. “Bullshit.”

  Wes shook his head angrily. “No. It’s not. I’ve been beating my head against the wall for weeks, fuck, for months, trying to get her to accept me in her life. I’m done, Rick.”

  “I think you owe it to both of you to go up there and get some answers. Give it one more try.”

  Wes shook his head. “No. I’m fresh outta tries. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  Rick stood quietly for several moments before nodding. “Where to?”

  “Where else? O’Malley’s.”

  “You sure getting drunk is such a good idea?” Rick asked.

  Wes stared hard at the stairs in front of them.

  “Drunk is the best idea right now.”

  Chapter Nine

  Wes stood outside the diner and watched Jill wipe up the counter before pulling off her apron and heading into the back. It was late, though nowhere near closing time yet. He’d stayed out far too late last night with Rick. He’d attempted to drown sorrows that simply wouldn’t die, no matter how many shots of whiskey he threw at them. After staying in bed and nursing a hangover all morning, he’d spent the rest of the afternoon tinkering around Rick’s garage, helping him fix a motorcycle. It had felt good to work with his hands, to lose himself in a project for a few hours.

  Unfortunately, the real world beckoned. He’d run last night, nursed a wound and played the pity party card. Tonight, all bets were off. He was tired of playing Jill’s game, never knowing what the rules were.

  He walked in and caught Cheryl’s eye. She gave him a leery look.

  “Where’s the boss?” he asked.

  “I just sent her ass upstairs. She was starting to bring the customers down with her depressed mood.”

  “Depressed, eh?”

  “Yeah. Kinda starting to miss her smart mouth.”

  “Me too.”

  “You planning on fixing whatever’s wrong with her?”

  Wes smiled at Cheryl and nodded. “I aim to try.”

  Cheryl took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “You’re good for her. If you hang in there and manage to break through that stubborn will of hers, I promise you’ll find a wife who’s worth her weight in gold.”

  “I’m not gonna give up, Cheryl.”

  She nodded as she released his hand. “Good.”

  He walked toward the stairs that led to Jill’s apartment. As he reached the top, he started to knock then thought better of it. He didn’t want to take the chance she’d tell him to go away before he spoke his peace.

  Reaching out, he turned the knob. It was unlocked.

  As he pushed the door open, the light from the hallway shone on Jill as she sat on the couch in the dark.

  “Why is this door unlocked?” Not the opening he’d planned, but it sparked a reaction.

  She reached over and turned on the light on the end table. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m home and not down at the diner.”

  “Damn it, Jill. It doesn’t matter if you’re home or not. You’re here alone and there’s someone out there with a grudge. Seems to me—”

  “Not anymore,” she said.

  “What?”

  She leaned forward. “I know who’s been pulling the pranks, so the party’s over. You don’t need to stay here to protect me anymore.”

  “Who did it?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I got an apology today over the phone and there’s a check in the mail to cover the cost of the new window and to fix my car. Even charged a bit extra to pay you for all the hours you spent unclogging the toilets.”

  Wes crossed his arms and swallowed down the angry retort he wanted to fling at her. She was kicking him out and keeping him in the dark. Neither sat well with him. “Who was messing with you, Jill?”

  “Seth’s ex-girlfriend.”

  He frowned. “Why?”

  “Because when he dumped her, he told her he was still in love with me.”

  He remembered Seth and Jill’s embrace the previous night. Had Seth come here to try to win her back? Had he succeeded? “I thought you said your relationship with Seth was casual. No strings attached.”

  Her face was the perfect picture of regret and sadness. “Apparently I was the only one without strings. I hurt him.”

  He nodded. He’d known Seth was pining for her weeks ago. Evidently Jill really hadn’t known about the man’s feelings. “I see.”

  She looked up. “I’m hurting you.”

  He wanted to deny it, wanted to say anything to erase the look of pure despair in her gaze. “I’m okay, Jill.”

  She bit her lip then stood to face him.

  “I can’t have children,” she said.

  He stared at her, trying to process her words. “What?”

  She attempted to take in a deep breath, but it was broken, choppy, and she looked like she was desperately fighting not to cry. When she replied, her words were spoken so softly, he barely heard them. “I can’t have children.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  She swallowed hard. “I have a medical condition. Endometriosis. In my case, it’s bad.”

  He nodded slowly. It sounded like her words were coming to him from some great distance, and he was struggling to take them in. “You can’t have babies?”

  She flinched at his question. Then she clenched her jaw and shook her head. “I can’t.”

  It was his turn to speak. He knew that. She was watching him, waiting for him to say something, anything. His mind was blank. The future he’d created for them blew away like the seeds of a dandelion, and he couldn’t find a single word to say. He was being pummeled by a million different emotions, all of them beating the shit out of him, leaving him raw, damaged, destroyed.

  A brief, anguished laugh escaped her lips. The silence had been too much. He’d waited too long.

  “Yeah. That’s what I thought.” She crossed her arms, her face etched with betrayal.

  He frowned. “Jill. Wait.”

  She shook her head. Her temper snapped. “No. Obviously, there’s nothing to wait for. Get out.”

  “No.”

  His response enraged her, triggering an anger he’d never seen in her before. She was pale—too pale—and her hands were shaking. “I said get out.”

  He took a step toward her, said her name.

  She lunged for him, beating his chest with hard, furious fists. “Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!” She was screaming, her words pelting him harder than her blows.

  “Goddamn it, Jill.” He raised his hands in self-defense, but she wouldn’t stop hitting him. Wouldn’t stop yelling.

  He did the only thing he could think to do. He turned and left.

  Wes made it as far as the last step outside Jill’s apartment before he stopped. Stopped dead in his tracks. His legs couldn’t support him any
more so he sat. Sat on the bottom step and tried to make sense of the tornado of feelings whirling inside his brain, inside his heart.

  Jill couldn’t have children. Her confession had caught him unaware, but now it made sense. Her reasons for running, for holding him at arm’s length, all the pieces fell into place.

  Now, away from her, alone, he let himself think about those words. Understand them.

  She couldn’t have children.

  He rubbed his face, surprised to discover a trace of wetness on his cheeks. Fuck. He was crying? He never cried. He put his head in his hands as the picture of a little girl with Jill’s wavy blonde hair and sassy smile faded from his mind. Another tear escaped as he mourned the loss of a daughter he’d never have.

  For several minutes, he sat on the stairs and said goodbye to the dream.

  Jill watched the door close behind Wes, and for a frozen moment she simply stared at it. Then the dam broke and she collapsed to the floor. She fell in a heap and gave in to the one thing she’d never allowed herself to do.

  She cried.

  Cried for Wes. For her. For the children they’d never have. She cried for her broken heart and her loneliness. Years of anguish, agony and longing found an escape as she sobbed. Broken. Devastated. Alone.

  She wasn’t sure how long she lay on the floor, how long she cried. Sitting up, she tried to get herself together. Tried to pull in the scattered pieces of her soul. She couldn’t. Her mind drifted back to Wes’ blank expression when she’d told him. She’d watched him mentally and emotionally check out, leave her. Everything she’d feared had happened. All her reasons for avoiding love, avoiding relationships, crashed in on her and she cursed herself for being a fool.

  Cursed herself for allowing a tiny piece of her heart to believe that Wes wouldn’t care. That he’d want her despite everything. That he’d love her regardless.

  Her lower lip quivered. He was gone. The realization ripped her to shreds, and a fresh round of tears started to fall.

  Wes wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. He stared at the blank walls of the hallway that would lead him to the diner. Lead him away from Jill.

  She couldn’t have kids.

  So what?

  The two words popped into his mind on a flash of lightning.

  “So what?” he said aloud, tasting the words, testing their strength. They were right. They were true. He wanted Jill. He loved her. That love wasn’t conditional, wasn’t based on her ability to have his baby. He loved her. Loved her laughter, her wicked sense of humor and her love of short skirts. He loved her intelligence, her sparkling blue eyes and her cherry pie.

  He loved her. The whole package. Exactly as she was.

  There was more than one way to catch a fish and there were a hell of lot of ways to make a family.

  He rose and turned, ashamed of himself for walking out. For leaving her when she needed him the most.

  When he got to the top of the stairs, he twisted the knob and walked in.

  He spotted her instantly, found her lying on the floor, and his heart broke. He’d never seen her cry, never seen her shed a tear. It looked like she was making up for a lifetime of pain as she sobbed inconsolably.

  He walked over to her and dropped to his knees.

  She startled at his touch on her shoulder. She sat up quickly, trying to dash away the tears as she sucked in great gasps of air in an attempt to stem them.

  “Don’t do that,” he said. He was angry. She’d hidden too much from him for too long. As of right now, that was over.

  “What?” she asked quietly.

  “Don’t stop crying. Don’t.”

  She started to refuse him. She opened her mouth to tell him off. No doubt she planned to tell him to get out again. He wasn’t going.

  Bending forward, he captured her lips with his, shocked her into silence. The kiss was quick, brief, a means to an end. When he pulled away, he fought to hold her gaze, forced himself to see the sorrow reflected in her eyes. He’d walked away from her.

  “You’ve held those tears in for too long, Jill. Don’t you think it’s time you let them out?”

  Her face crumpled and she fell into his arms. He pulled her close, held her tightly, whispering words of comfort as she cried and cried and cried.

  “Shhh,” he said, pressing his lips against her forehead. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Eventually her cries became quieter, accompanied by the same words, spoken over and over. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  He moved away, gripped her upper arms tightly while he waited for her to look at him. “Don’t ever apologize to me again. Not for this.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

  “I know what you want, what you’ve always wanted. A family. I can’t give that to you.”

  He smiled sadly. “Of course you can. There are a million kids in this world who need parents. We’ll adopt all of them.”

  She laughed, the sound broken by a brief cry. Her emotions were so raw, so fresh. He knew it would take her a long time to pull herself back together. “It’s not the same.”

  “It is to me.”

  “Wes—”

  “I want you to be the mother of my children. Where the babies come from doesn’t matter to me. Hell, we can give Brad and Angelina a run for their money. Adopt a baby from every country in the world. Set up our own little United Nations.”

  Her laughter this time was real. “I couldn’t ask you to give up so much.”

  “You aren’t asking me to give up anything, Jill. You’re offering me a lifetime of happiness and love. I love you. I wanna marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. We have lots of options, lots of ways to figure out the baby part.”

  She stared at him for a long time, studying his face, searching for a trace of insincerity, a chink in his armor.

  He grinned when her face cleared. “Satisfied?”

  She blinked quickly, dashing away a few stray tears. “You aren’t lying.”

  He was happy her words weren’t a question. “No. I’ll never lie to you.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”

  He shrugged. He knew her. They’d been friends for years. Jill was fiercely independent and proud. She was a woman who took charge, and he could only imagine how difficult it was for her to know that in this one instance, she couldn’t control her destiny. Admitting to something she viewed as a flaw—regardless that it wasn’t her fault—would be extremely hard for her. “You told me. That’s all that matters.”

  “It is?”

  He smiled and nodded. “However, you still owe me a few hours’ pay.”

  She narrowed her eyes and he savored the return of her true spirit. “No way. We’ve spent hours and hours together these past few days. I figure I’ve got myself quite a bit of credit built up. You know, speaking of which, there’s a leaky faucet down in the kitchen—”

  “Pixie.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Get undressed.”

  Wes’ smoldering gaze nearly turned her to ashes, and she was torn between crying again and laughing until her sides burst with the sheer joy of this moment.

  He knew the truth. He still wanted her.

  “Wes,” she started. She didn’t have time to say more when he took her in his arms. His lips landed on hers and he kissed her as if they’d been apart for years rather than a day.

  When he finally released her, she found the words she’d been desperate to say.

  “I love you,” she said, savoring the taste, the power, the veracity of them.

  He pulled her toward him and kissed her softly. “Tell me again why we can’t be together.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “Your three reasons, Jill.”

  She considered her foolish words to him the day he’d cornered her in the diner storeroom. “Wes—”

  “Tell me,” he insisted.

&
nbsp; “We fight too much.”

  He nodded. “I’ll admit that neither one of us is lacking in the temper department.”

  “Or the stubborn department,” she added.

  “I can’t promise we won’t ever fight, but I can assure you that I’ll always want to make up.”

  She grinned. “I like the way you make up.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as he engulfed her in a big bear hug. She’d never felt more cherished.

  He placed a light kiss on the top of her head, his words muffled by her hair. “Tell me the second reason.”

  “I’m not sure I can say it again with a straight face,” she teased as she turned her face toward his neck, planting soft kisses on his chin.

  “Ah, yes, the great I’m not attracted to you lie.”

  She bit his shoulder lightly. “Guess you set me straight on that.”

  “And the third reason why we shouldn’t be together,” he started, but before he could say the words, she pulled away from him.

  “It doesn’t exist anymore. There’s no reason why we shouldn’t be together. I want to marry you, Wes. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

  He grasped her hands in his. “I love you.”

  She sniffled as tears battled with the laughter bubbling inside her. “Why do you have so many clothes on?”

  “I was going to ask you the same question,” he said, reaching for the hem of her skirt. “A skirt. Thank God for your love of skirts. Easy access.” He pulled the flimsy material above her waist, and Jill giggled.

  “Lie down,” he said, gently pushing her to her back. She grinned at the familiar sensation of the carpet against her skin as he hastily pulled her panties off. He unzipped his pants and shoved them to his knees before moving above her.

  “So impatient,” she teased as he pushed his cock inside her. He didn’t respond until he was fully seated and she heard him sigh, a sound of complete and utter relief.

  “Better?” she asked with a giggle.

  He closed his eyes as he bent down to nuzzle her neck with his lips.