Falling Softly: Compass Girls, Book 4 Read online

  Boot heels clacked ominously in the thick silence as Dr. Martin ushered Sterling into an exam room and shut the door quietly behind him. “Look, Sterling, I feel like I’ve gotten to know you well enough to guess you’d like me to cut the bullshit and tell things to you straight, right?”

  “Of course. No need for a charming bedside manner with me, Doc.” She crossed her arms, hugging herself as if she could prevent his words from piercing her chest like a fiery arrow.

  “Right.” He grimaced. “The trial isn’t working for your grandmother. It’s clear now that we’re not doing any good. In fact, we are probably doing harm in the grand scheme of things.”

  “What?” Sterling tipped her head to one side.

  “The medicine your grandmother is receiving is very limited. By continuing her participation, we’re denying a candidate who might respond well to the treatment a chance at a normal life.” He sighed and reached for Sterling’s hand, but she shrugged, angling away. “I’m sorry, Sterling.”

  “What will happen if we cut her off? Will she get worse even faster?” Freezing fingers of dread reached into Sterling’s gut at the thought. Her legs shook and she locked her knees to keep from wobbling. The day was coming. They knew it was. But she wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

  Why hadn’t she accepted her dad’s offer to accompany them today? She could really use his broad shoulders to lean on right now. Except this was going to be even harder for him to hear about his own mother. Shit.

  “It’s hard to tell. We can’t say for sure if the drug has been ineffective or if it has successfully slowed her decline considering she has one of the most severe cases I’ve seen in years.” He paused.

  “Don’t stop now. Spit it out.” Sterling eyed the doc as he paced before her.

  “Observing how Vivi reacts once we discontinue the medication could be valuable data for the study. We could draw conclusions about whether the decline is more marked—”

  “Wait.” Sterling shook her head even as her fists balled. “Are you telling me that you want to experiment on my grandmother? Yank her drugs to see what happens? She could die!”

  Catching her breath took conscious effort. So did beating back the waves of blackness assaulting her.

  “Sterling, the truth is we’ve been researching all along. You know that.” He held his hands up, palms out. “I know this is hard. But talk it over with your family. Try to think logically instead of emotionally. Our board of directors has only continued her enrollment in the program this long because of your family’s generosity to this institution. I personally don’t believe that Mrs. Compton would approve if she knew the truth. If she was capable of logic…”

  Guilt slammed through Sterling as she realized how selfish she was being. All of them were. Prolonging Vivi’s suffering for their own comfort at the expense of another family… Well, that wasn’t how they were raised.

  Damn straight. If Vivi understood the ramifications, she’d pull the plug herself.

  Probably would have months ago.

  “O-okay.” She had to clear her throat to agree. “Give me tonight to round everyone up for a family meeting.”

  Dr. Martin nodded. “I’m so sorry, Sterling. Truly, I am.”

  And why did she feel like she’d be hearing that a lot?

  “Thanks.” She scrubbed her fingers over her face and prepared to paste on a smile for Vivi. They had to be strong for her now, like she’d always been for them. After losing the love of her life, she’d carried on and shepherded the extended family that had provided Sterling with everything she could have hoped for. Now it was her turn to live up to that legacy.

  Even while her heart shattered.

  Sterling knuckled moisture from the corners of her eyes, squared her shoulders and yanked open the door. One problem. The seat where Vivi had waited for her was empty.

  “Oh crap.” Sterling peeked down the hall in either direction, praying her grandmother had spotted someone familiar and gone to say hello. Or maybe gone to chat with Claudine. No such luck. The woman was on the phone while two other people hovered in front of her, blocking her view of the waiting area.

  “What’s—?” Dr. Martin caught on quick when he peeked over her shoulder and caught her frantically sweeping the unnaturally bright-white interior for any hint of her grandmother. “I’ll call the front desk. They won’t let her leave without you.”

  “Right.” Sterling didn’t wait for him to put their safety net in place. She jogged down the hall, peeking into every room that she passed. Including one that held a half-dressed man prepping for some surely stressful test.

  “Sorry, sorry!” Shutting the door as quickly as possible, she trotted along until she came to the next intersection. For a little old lady, Vivi seemed to have sprouted wings. She couldn’t have gotten far.

  Reading the screen hung on the wall, Sterling couldn’t decide which way to turn. Until she spotted, “Long-term Residential Care”. Please, please. That had to be it. She went with her gut.

  Picking up steam, she caught nasty glares from the nurses and even a shout to slow down from an orderly as she sprinted past, still craning her neck wildly in every direction without a glimpse of her grandmother.

  After crashing into the corner of a cart, a direct hit to her hipbone, Sterling slowed. Her heart raced and her breath sawed in and out of her lungs as she approached the open glass doors that lead into a different section of the hospital.

  Linoleum gave way to hardwood floors, and walls covered with bookshelves sat opposite the receptionist. Beyond the woman with thick-rimmed glasses staring curiously at her was a large, open area full of plants and couches and low tables brimming with puzzles. Natural light nearly made the whole place glow.

  Sterling squinted against the glare, which couldn’t disguise this place for the prison it truly was. Designed to house patients who required full-time assistance, there’d always been something about the serene surroundings that had made her skin crawl. It was as if the designers had been trying to stifle an uprising.

  Vivi had brought her here a few days a week for nearly a decade. They’d volunteered, playing board games and generally trying to keep people company. One person more than the others, though.

  “Everything okay, Sterling?” Jeanette, the receptionist, canted her head as she stared.

  “Fine.” She winced. “I think. Have you seen my grandmother?”

  “Of course. Vicky is in the solarium with Suzanne. Just like the old days, huh?” The pitiful smile she flashed Sterling was reminiscent of the looks she’d seen people give some of the residents. Hopeless. False, though well intended. Reassuring in no way at all.

  Thank God they’d talked Vivi out of her ludicrous plan to enter a facility not that different from this one. Sure, the staff gave the best care they could to the residents, but it just wasn’t the same as living at home. Surrounded by family.

  Vivi had lost so much already, she shouldn’t have to surrender absolutely everything.

  When Sterling raised an absentminded hand to acknowledge Jeanette then nearly stumbled into the dazzling space beyond, her breath caught in her lungs. Her eyes stung as she blinked rapidly. She wished she could say her reaction had to do with the flood of brilliance instead of the fact that Vivi could have easily been a patient, sitting on the cheery sofa, staring blankly at Suzanne, who stared blankly back.

  Though none of them had ever said so out loud, they all knew that one or all of the Compass Girls could have been in her shoes. That horrible accident on Sterling’s sixteenth birthday had stolen Suzanne’s bright future. Unless you counted what the glistening skylights did to her hair, which had gone stark white following the crash.

  Sterling doubled over. She clenched her gut and bit her lip to keep from crying out.

  What had she done with her life to make the most of the gift it was?

  Unlike her cous
ins, she didn’t have someone special to share her time with. No one waited for her at home, in the cottage her cousins had rapidly grown out of. There wasn’t anyone to share her evenings with. Her jewelry shop was the only thing she had to brag about. And even that hadn’t really blossomed to the full potential she daydreamed about.

  Not without taking her shop online. Expanding, though that would mean taking out a loan for more frontage. Reaching out to the world to share her talents with more than Compton Pass, Wyoming, or the regional vendors who sold her creations on consignment. All the things she’d been too afraid to do. Talents wasted away in her small-town showcase.

  Maybe all this time she’d thought of Suzanne’s tragedy, and Vivi’s, she’d had everything mixed up. They’d had something valuable to lose.

  Right then and there she promised herself she’d be bolder. Embrace her wild side, which she constantly suppressed. Take some damn chances and make her life count.

  “You all right, hon?” A nurse Sterling didn’t recognize put her hand in the small of Sterling’s back. “You look like you’re going to pass out. Why don’t you have a seat?”

  “I’m okay.” A lie. “Haven’t eaten yet today. I’ll be fine.”

  That could be another untruth. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Except that she planned to go forward differently than she’d been trudging on.

  “Hi, Suz. I hope you don’t mind—I came for Vivi.” Sterling wrestled the panic inside her that threatened to overwhelm her sanity. When she turned toward Vivi, something brushed her fingers. Suzanne. Had she reached out intentionally or had it been a coincidence?

  Sterling stared at her old friend, but no recognition dawned in her glassy eyes.

  “Come on, Vivi. Shift’s over. I’m going to take you home.” She refocused on her grandmother.

  “Already?” The woman snapped out of her daze as if they’d been chatting all along. “It seems like we just got here.”

  “Funny, I feel like I’ve been here forever.” She sighed, then helped Vivi out of the plush couch.

  They didn’t talk the rest of the way out to the car even though they inched along the snarled corridors. Or even when Sterling nodded to the woman posted at the door, who let them pass without comment.

  Sterling buckled her grandmother in, then rounded the hood to slide into the driver’s seat as the woman twisted the bangle on her wrist, mesmerized by the hand-worked leaves. “Ready, Vivi?”

  “Yep. It’s almost time to start supper.” She paused. “Do you know where I got this bracelet, Cindi?”

  Sterling’s eyes watered as she pretended it didn’t hurt to be called her mother. For Vivi to have already forgotten her gift. Raw from the news and the scare and her revelations, she barely held her shit together. When she didn’t answer, Vivi continued, “I think you’d better hold onto this until we find out who it belongs to.”

  Sterling figured it wasn’t worth the hassle of the fifteen phone calls she’d get over the next few days from concerned family members, worried that Vivi had picked it up in a store and forgotten to pay for it. Swallowing hard, she took back the gift, slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, then drove toward Compass Ranch and the rest of her life beyond those fences.

  Chapter Two

  Sterling barely escaped the laser stare of her cousin, Hope, as she transferred her grandmother to the other young woman’s care. Normally they’d sit and chat awhile, enjoying their time with Vivi. Brew some tea, share ranch gossip and cook dinner together so their grandmother didn’t attempt to operate the stove without subtle supervision.

  Not today.

  With her obligation complete, Sterling needed to escape before she ensnared the rest of her family in the turmoil she’d already been exposed to after Dr. Martin’s sentencing. Dramatic? Maybe, but that’s how it felt.

  Rolling the windows down, she let the wind whip her chestnut hair around her face. The tips lashed her and made her eyes water. At least, that was what she identified as the culprit when moisture trickled down her cheeks while she passed through town.

  She bounced along in her retro Jeep, letting the rural scenery soothe her. Nature did that for her. It always had.

  Blacktop transformed into gravel and tar. Shops became houses and then occasional farms. As the miles ticked by, plowed fields gave way to grasslands. They rolled off to where they met the mountains in the distance. Crystal clear water, which would be freezing if she parked and dipped her toes in, streamed beneath the old wooden bridge she rumbled across. In the distance, a trio of wild mustangs galloped.

  Red rocks and scraggly silverberry bushes inspired a design. Finally, the perfect thing to do with those unusual garnets she’d had lying around popped into her mind. She searched the road ahead for a place to pull over so she could haul out her sketchbook to capture the flash of brilliance before it passed.

  Except just then, she spotted the glint of sunlight off something distinctly not natural. A hunk of metal. As she crested a gentle hill and neared, she realized it was a busted truck. Way out here, miles from town, it would be irresponsible for her to leave without checking on its most likely stranded owner.

  Slowing down, she approached the vehicle. From this distance, it was easy to detect the open hood and the wisps of blue smoke drifting from the engine of the rust bucket. Not a good sign.

  But when she got closer still and noticed the man leaning against the clunker, she whistled.

  Enormous, he reminded her of a sequoia. Earthy, strong and beautiful. Majestic. One glimpse at him had a thousand ideas sparking to life. Her pencil would be worn to a stub before she could draw them all.

  His hair beat hers in both the intensity of its inky blackness and the thickness of its straight length. Classic Native American features made his face bold and strikingly handsome. But his relaxed pose, ankles crossed with arms up and back on either side of him—splayed across the top edge of the truck bed—had her swallowing hard.

  Sterling squirmed in the driver’s seat.

  Despite his seeming casualness, his broad chest puffed outward, making it clear he could take care of himself. Even if she’d been a two-hundred-and-fifty pound rancher in his prime, she’d have been no concern for this guy.

  More sharply than she intended, Sterling hit the brakes, stirring up some dust as she bobbled onto the shoulder behind his vehicle. Instinctively, one of her hands flew to her phone, nestled in her wristlet. She peeked at its screen, double-checking the strength of her signal out here. Thank goodness for satellites.

  Furiously, she swiped her finger across the device, sending her cousins a quick text. I found a stray smoking hot man on the side of the road. Going to play the Good Samaritan. Probably give him a ride into town. If I don’t text you back in an hour with details, he turned out to be a psychopath, has eaten me alive and is burying the leftovers in the wilderness. Send help. :-)

  Three beeps pinged off the inside of her vehicle almost immediately.

  Be careful! From Hope.

  Don’t joke! From Sienna.

  Hot, you say? Have fun. Jade, of course.

  Gotta go. Sterling laughed softly to herself as she tucked her phone away. She’d probably pay for that later—with an epic pillow fight, or having to muck out stalls with Jade, or by baking dessert for the other Compass Girls—but she didn’t care at the moment.

  Still amused, she glanced up and caught her sexy stranger staring at her. He hadn’t moved a single muscle. Not even a twitch. As if afraid of spooking her, he waited for her to approach. His carefully constructed docile illusion didn’t fool her for a nanosecond.

  Dangerous though he might be, his raw sensuality drew her. She gazed right back at him, noting the rich chocolate of his eyes and the faint scar decorating the corner of his mouth. Cataloging every detail of his flawless imperfection, she clutched the steering wheel with both hands.

  He seemed sort of fami
liar and yet unlike anyone she’d ever known. So much more.

  She swore she could read a million thoughts in his stare during the span of a single heartbeat. What the hell?

  And then he smiled.

  It seemed a tiny bit contrived, and not as reassuring as he probably intended. Like a Big Bad Wolf whose grin only showed off his fangs. Yet, it might have been the most gorgeous thing she’d seen in a year. Considering the gems surrounding her day in and day out, that was saying something.

  Her fingers trembled as they opened her door.

  When she slid out of the Jeep, her boots weren’t as steady on the ground as she would have expected….preferred, really.

  It must have been the trip to the hospital throwing her off her game.

  Sterling had halved the distance between them, coming to stand with her feet apart and her thumbs hooked in the pockets of her denim skirt, before either of them spoke. She broke the silence. “Truck crapped out on you, huh?”

  “Yep.” He still didn’t budge. As if that might make her less aware of the fact that he could overpower her in a hurry, if he was so inclined.

  “Waiting for roadside assistance?” She wondered why he was so calm. Most people, even seasoned ranch hands, would be leery about spending the night so far out of touch from town. Without proper supplies, it wouldn’t be very comfortable at best and could be dangerous if the person stranded didn’t have at least moderate survival skills. Already the air grew brisk enough that she resisted the temptation to hug herself.

  “Nah. Don’t have a cell.” He shrugged, the motion only highlighting the ripped shoulders beneath his thin T-shirt and the chiseled sinew of his forearms.

  Who didn’t carry a phone these days? Maybe he couldn’t afford one, if his truck and ripped jeans were anything to guess by.