Because of You: Just Because Series Book 1 Read online

  “You’re drifting,” Todd said, leaning down to talk loudly into her ear. They were standing far too close to the speakers for her sanity. She spotted a bar set up at the end of the patio with a few empty stools.

  “Drifting? I can’t even hear myself think. I’m going to go drum up another beer. You guys want anything?” she asked.

  “Naw, I’m good,” Todd said as Stephen shook his head. She waved and walked away. Climbing up onto one of the tall barstools, she sighed heavily, looking back at the crowd. It really was a terrific get-together. Jacob definitely knew how to throw a hell of a party.

  “That’s not a fun face,” a voice said from behind the bar.

  Jessie turned to find a handsome man smiling at her. Holy wow, she thought as she looked into the man’s deep green eyes. His dirty blond hair was neatly trimmed, and he had honest-to-God dimples. Inwardly she groaned. Just my luck, she thought. First spark of attraction she’d felt since her husband died and, of course, it was toward a gay man.

  “Oh, I’m having fun,” she assured him. “Just a bit tired and not in much of a party mood.”

  “How about a liquid pep-me-up? I’m mixing drinks tonight because I’m not in a party mood myself. Seemed easier to volunteer for this job rather than to fight my way through the revelers and try to participate in small talk,” the man answered. “I’m Caleb, by the way.”

  “Jessie,” she replied, reaching out to shake Caleb’s outstretched hand. “Jessie Warner.”

  “I don’t think I recognize you, Jessie Warner. Are you from around here?”

  “No, I’m here on vacation. I’ve been visiting with Todd and Stephen for the past couple of weeks. They live about a mile down the road.”

  “I know those guys pretty well. I forgot Todd mentioned he had company. Best friend from kindergarten, I think he said.”

  Jessie rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yep, that’s me. Todd loves to tell everyone exactly how long we’ve known each other.”

  “Got to admit, I figured Jessie, the lifelong friend, was a man,” Caleb said. As he spoke he mixed several liquors with orange juice before handing it to the man sitting next to her.

  “Thanks, Caleb,” the man said, walking back to his friends.

  “Everyone thinks that. Curse of my name,” she said.

  “What are you drinking?” Caleb asked.

  “Oh, just beer. I’m heading back home tomorrow and wouldn’t want to do it with a headache.”

  “Smart woman,” he said, uncapping a bottle of ice-cold beer and handing it to her. “Where’s home?”

  “Right now, it’s Denver.”

  “Right now?” he asked.

  “Todd and Stephen are trying to talk me into moving here. I’m a website designer and I basically work out of my house. My friends think I need to move out of the big, bad city.” Her words were a joke, but she had been giving their request some serious consideration.

  She would never have dreamed of leaving Denver before Tommy’s death, but over the past eight months, she’d had more than her fair share of bad karma. She’d been mugged a few weeks earlier and although she hadn’t been seriously hurt, it had triggered a fear in her that hadn’t been there before. Between that, the prank calls, the feeling of constantly being watched, and her unfounded suspicions about Tommy’s death, she was one giant mass of nerves.

  Since coming to stay with her friends, the paranoia had gone away. No more late night calls, no eyes watching her every move. Todd and Stephen lived on a nice-sized ranch just outside Saratoga, Wyoming and the peacefulness of the area, the beauty of the landscape was certainly calling to her. She’d only been here two weeks, but she was already starting to feel like her old self. She was tired of being frightened—jumping at every sound, flinching at every sudden movement.

  “Well, I may not be impartial, but I don’t think you could pick a better spot on earth to settle down than right here,” Caleb said.

  “Oh, so you’re a local? Not one of the masses who drive hours to attend Gay Fest?”

  Caleb laughed long and loud at her question, and she wondered what he found so funny. “No,” he finally answered. “I didn’t drive at all. I live here with the host. Jacob’s my insane-but-loveable kid brother. And, sweetheart, I ain’t gay.”

  Jessie giggled at his response until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

  “Well, doesn’t this just figure.” She turned to see Jacob and Todd standing next to her. Jacob was shaking his head in mock disgust. “Only two straight people at the whole damn party and they find each other. It’s like they’ve got radar or something,” Jacob said to Todd, who laughed.

  Jessie shook her head, grinning at Jacob’s joke and feeling slightly surprised at how pleased she was to discover Caleb wasn’t gay. She didn’t even want to consider why that should matter to her. She was nowhere near ready to start thinking about dating someone else. The pain of losing Tommy was still too fresh, too intense.

  “I was hoping we might borrow you for a second, Jess,” Todd said.

  “Borrow me for what?”

  “We want you to kick off the karaoke contest,” Jacob answered. “Todd says you two used to tear up the elementary school circuit with your song and dance routines.”

  “Forget it,” she said firmly. “I’m too damn old and too damn sober for that.”

  She felt a nudge at her elbow and looked down to find Caleb pushing a shot glass at her. “As luck would have it, Jessie, I’m a doctor and I’m fairly certain I can take care of that sober problem of yours. Take this shot. It’ll make you feel better. Then get up on that stage and sing. It’s a party and it looks like it might do you some good to let your hair down.”

  “Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Todd chimed in. “Set us all up with a round of those, Doc.”

  Caleb poured the tequila, and she was secretly appeased when she watched him include himself in the group. On the count of three, all four of them downed the drinks.

  Jessie winced as the hot alcohol burned her throat, but after feeling cold for months, she welcomed the sudden warmth. Maybe Caleb and Todd were right. She needed to cut loose, laugh, give herself one night to let go and forget.

  “What song are we singing?” she asked as Jacob cheered.

  “‘Super Trouper’,” Todd answered. “Jake and I are gonna be your backup.”

  She heard Caleb laugh behind her and turned quickly, narrowing her eyes. “You owe me for this,” she teased.

  “Sweetheart, I look forward to paying up.”

  * * *

  “Oh hell, what time is it?” Jessie asked, leaning her head against his shoulder as they rested against one of the large logs circling the bonfire.

  Caleb felt like a damn teenager on his first date with this lovely woman. He’d seen her the second she’d arrived in the backyard and he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of her. Her long, light brown hair shimmered with auburn highlights accentuated by the firelight. Her chocolate-colored eyes were sweet and had been just a little sad when she’d first sat down at the bar. He wondered about that sadness, but as the night progressed, it had gradually disappeared until all he could see now was a woman genuinely enjoying herself…with him.

  As an ER doctor, he didn’t have a lot of time for dating, and he struggled to remember the last time he’d spent an entire evening with a woman, talking and dancing and laughing. His brothers constantly chastised him for his workaholic tendencies, but he didn’t think there was anything wrong with being committed to his career. Sure, he worked long hours and he was on call more than he was off, but that was all a part of the job. Lately, Jacob had begun suggesting that Caleb open up his own practice here in town and start dating, an idea he’d previously rejected outright.

  However, after spending the evening with Jessie, he realized something he had never noticed before. He was lonely. He’d assumed his patients and his brothers were enough for him, but now he couldn’t help but wonder if something vital was missing from his life.

  Jessie was a fun companion, and he was more than a little bit sorry about the fact she was leaving in the morning. Although Denver wasn’t terribly far away, something about her demeanor told him that tonight was likely all he would get.

  “It’s after one.”

  “Ugh,” Jessie said, straightening up. “I think my morning departure is suddenly looking like an afternoon one.”

  He grinned. “Probably not a bad idea. You’ve had quite a bit to drink.”

  “That’s sort of the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” she joked.

  He shrugged. “I don’t have a three-hour drive tomorrow and I’ve got plenty of time to sleep this off. I don’t have to be back at work until Monday morning.”

  “I think my chances of dragging Todd and Stephen away are next to nil,” she said, her voice betraying her tiredness.

  He looked across the yard and spotted her friends in the middle of a huge mass of swaying bodies on the patio. His brother’s band was playing and they showed no sign of stopping anytime soon.

  “I’ll walk you back if you’re ready to leave,” he offered.

  “Oh, that’s okay,” she said. “I can wait around.”

  He thought for a moment he saw a flash of fear in her eyes, but she quickly shuttered it away. “Seriously, Jess. It’s only about a mile. I don’t mind walking you.”

  She glanced toward the path and again he sensed her reticence.

  “I’ll have you know I was a Boy Scout. You have my solemn pledge that I will get you home safely.” He rose before reaching down and helping her to her feet.

  She grinned guiltily as she swayed a bit, betraying her tipsiness. “All right then. I mean if you can’t trust a Boy Scout, who can you trust? Let me go tell the guys I’m leaving.”

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nbsp; He nodded. “I’ll let Jacob know where I’m going and meet you at the bar in five.”

  Caleb watched her pick her way through the couples who were making out by the giant bonfire, and he smiled at her drunken clumsiness. She apologized to a man whose drink she knocked over before dancing her way across the patio to her friends. He looked around and spotted his brother entertaining a large crowd by the bar.

  “Hey, Jake,” he called out. “I’m going to walk Jessie back to Todd’s guesthouse.”

  Jacob’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively, obviously reading far too much into his actions.

  Caleb shook his head. “She’s gotta drive back to Denver tomorrow and her friends aren’t ready to leave. I’ll only be gone a little while. You got things under control here?”

  Jacob pulled him aside with a mischievous grin. “Everything here is fine and I think Jessie is a great girl. Take your time.” Then he adopted a stern face and for a minute, Caleb was struck by how much Jacob looked like their father. “However, I feel I should remind you to practice safe sex,” he said in a deep voice, mimicking dear old Dad perfectly. Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. “Here, take this just in case.”

  “Jake, you’re drunk and a dumbass so I’m not going to embarrass you in front of your friends by kicking your ass and making you cry like a big baby,” he teased. “I’m just escorting her home,” he repeated, despite the small hope he harbored that maybe tonight could include something a bit more. There was a special quality about the woman he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He put his hand up to refuse the silver foil packet.

  “There you are. You ready?” Jessie asked from behind him. Caleb hastily grabbed the condom Jacob was swinging around and thrust it in the front pocket of his jeans to hide it before Jessie could see. God only knew how she would interpret that move, and he fought the impulse to punch his brother for nearly ruining the whole night with his damn foolishness.

  Turning, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and directed her toward the dirt path that connected to the James Ranch.

  “Ready,” he said as they set off, away from the loud music and into the quiet night together.

  Chapter Three

  Jessie unlocked the door to the guesthouse as Caleb stood beside her on the porch. She shook herself for her damned reservations in walking home alone with him. It was obvious Caleb was a kind man. Tonight had been one of the nicest nights she’d had in a very long time, thanks to him. He was fun and funny and her damned anxiety was clearly getting the best of her. She never used to be such a nervous Nelly, suspicious of everyone she met.

  She was grateful to Todd for his offer of a place to stay, a retreat of sorts these past two weeks. It was hard to admit it, but she felt better simply getting out of the apartment she’d shared with Tommy, surrounded by memories at every turn.

  “I have a feeling you’re going to have quite a long wait until you can hit your bed. Wanna come in for a cup of coffee?” she offered, sorry to see her night with Caleb end so soon. He was an easy man to talk to.

  “I’d love coffee,” he said. “Now that I’m away from the madness, I’m not looking forward to plunging back into it right away.”

  Jessie grinned and led him through the small house.

  “Todd and Stephen have done a hell of a lot of work on the ranch. It needed a major facelift and some big time renovations when they moved in. Looks great now,” Caleb said. Stephen had inherited the ranch from his parents after their tragic deaths in a car accident two years earlier. Before that, he and Todd had resided in Denver and the two of them had been her constant companions along with Tommy since they’d all lived in the same apartment complex. She and Tommy had missed them when they moved away, but they’d understood their friends’ desire to find an easier pace of life and their dream of setting up a bed and breakfast at the house. She knew Stephen, born and bred on this ranch, had never truly been happy with life in the big city and his high-stress job at an investment firm.

  “Yeah, I came up with my husband right after they left Denver. I honestly can’t believe all the improvements they’ve made. They’ll be ready for business soon.”

  Jessie had been making the coffee as she spoke, but even with her back turned she sensed Caleb’s sudden tension. She turned to see his eyebrows lowered, his face serious and upset.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, wondering what she could have said to have produced such a rapid change in his disposition.

  “Husband?” he asked and she saw his eyes dart to her ring finger. She given up wearing her diamond engagement ring, but she couldn’t seem to part from the actual white gold wedding band.

  She sucked in a breath at his question. She’d carefully avoided talking about Tommy all night. She’d wanted a night to forget, a night to pretend that her life was normal and happy and that she hadn’t had her heart ripped out of her chest eight months earlier.

  “I’m a widow,” she said, and the sound of that simple word released the flow of ice-cold water throughout her body once again. For a few hours, she’d been warm. Hell, between Caleb and the alcohol, she spent more than a few moments on fire and it had felt so damn good.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, rising and crossing the room to take her icy hands in his. She didn’t realize until his touch that she was shaking. In just one evening, he’d diminished the shadow of fear that constantly hovered over her. He’d rejuvenated her, made her feel alive.

  She shook her head, desperately willing away the chill, the sadness. Dammit, she didn’t want to be cold anymore. She was tired of being afraid. “It’s been eight months and I’m afraid I sometimes tend to talk about Tommy in the present tense, like he’s still here.”

  “Had he been ill?” he asked and she smiled sadly. He sounded very much like a doctor.

  “Freak accident. He slipped on a patch of ice and hit his head on a car door. It was late and brutally cold and he was the last person leaving work that night. It was several hours before I found him and by then—”

  “You found him?” he asked, pulling her gently to a chair in the kitchen. He pushed her down before sitting next to her. He never released his grip on her hands, and she knew he felt the coldness in them as he began to rub them with his own as if to warm them.

  “I was concerned when he didn’t come home and didn’t answer his cell. He was an accountant and it was audit season, so he worked late occasionally, but it wasn’t like him not to call and check in. Finally, I worried myself into a frenzy and decided to drive by his office, fully prepared to give him holy hell for scaring me so.”

  He nodded. “I’m sorry it was you who found him.”

  She shrugged and closed her eyes. She was a master at controlling her tears, yet here with Caleb it seemed harder to do. She’d managed to push her pain deep inside her, and she even found it easier of late to discuss Tommy’s death. Tonight, whether it was the alcohol or her tiredness or Caleb’s compassion, the emotions were threatening to bubble over and she refused to let that happen.

  “Well, I suppose I managed to bring tonight’s fun level down. That’s me—the official ruination of all parties,” she tried to joke. She pulled her hands out of his comforting grip and went back to the counter. “Do you like cream and sugar in your coffee?”

  “No, I drink it black, and, Jessie, you didn’t ruin anything. You’re going through a damn hard time right now, dealing with something no one should ever have to deal with. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I wish I could give you an easy fix, but I’m afraid nothing except time will cure this.”

  She grinned over her shoulder, determined to return to the easy banter they’d enjoyed all night. “That’s quite a bedside manner you have, Dr. Caleb.” The flirtatious line felt rusty and foreign as it fell from her lips, but Caleb didn’t seem to notice.

  He gave a short, brief laugh. “Oh yeah, I’m a master at bedside—” He paused mid-sentence and she was surprised when he walked over to her and placed his hands on her cheeks. “Christ, Jess. I want to kiss you so badly it hurts.”

  “So kiss me,” she whispered, uncertain where the words had come from, his and hers. From the second he touched her face, she wanted him with a passion she’d thought long gone.