Any Given Sunday Page 5

  This had been the only time all week he’d been completely alone and he needed that time to get his thoughts in order.

  He looked around his new living room. Sean wondered if he hadn’t jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire by initiating this new living arrangement.

  He’d wanted Lauren since he’d first laid eyes on her during their freshman year in college. He couldn’t imagine a day where he wouldn’t want her as fiercely as he wanted her now. Sex with her not only sated his desires but kept him coming back for more. However, this week he’d begun to sense her pulling away, holding him at arm’s length.

  It was obviously because of the kiss with Chad. He’d tried everything he knew to set her mind at ease, assure her he wasn’t angry, but he’d started to suspect it wasn’t guilt driving her actions. Maybe that kiss hadn’t been impulsive or just a fluke.

  No. It was clearly the wrench in the clockwork of Sean’s life—Chad. Having his best friend move into the house he bought to share with Lauren was seriously fucking with his head…and his libido. He took a calming breath and for the seven-gazillionth time pushed that unwelcome thought from his mind. His pop always used to tell him the heart wants what it wants. What his dear father had forgotten to add was that sometimes the heart couldn’t have what it wanted, no matter what.

  He closed his eyes and imagined Chad kissing Lauren. Ever since they’d confessed, he’d had a terrible time trying to erase the picture from his mind. What kind of kiss was it? Open-mouthed? With tongue? Was it a light, soft, gentle exploration or a passionate, set-the-house-on-fire embrace? He’d allowed every example to play over and over in his mind, and he stood by what he’d said the night they confessed. He wished he’d been there to see it.

  Chad and Lauren were in class until six. He glanced at the clock on the DVR and sighed when he heard footsteps on the porch.

  Time’s up.

  As if on cue, the front door opened and he grinned when he heard Lauren talking to Chad. She could talk the paint off the walls. He loved her constant chatter.

  “All I’m saying is, I don’t think Professor Webster wants us to copy a bunch of information out of a textbook. In fact, he said those exact words.”

  Chad shrugged. “If he wanted decent research he should have let us pick topics that interest us. Who the hell makes you draw them out of a hat? It’s bullshit. He’s getting fuck-all from me.”

  Sean lowered his feet to the floor as they walked into the living room.

  Lauren rolled her eyes, obviously frustrated. “The randomness fits. We sure as hell can’t pick and choose our patients when we open our practice. It makes sense that we might have to research things that make us uncomfortable. That’s sort of the point of the whole project.”

  “Rough class?” Sean asked.

  Chad walked over to turn on the lamp on the end table. Dusk was kicking in. It was only late October, but Sean couldn’t wait for spring to hit already. He was sick of darkness descending so early and ready for the long, lively days of summer.

  Lauren shook her head. “Not rough. The class is actually really interesting.”

  Chad snorted. “Lauren’s been looking forward to Human Sexuality since our freshman year. Makes me think she’s a nympho.”

  Sean laughed while Lauren punched Chad playfully on the arm. Chad wrapped his arm around her neck and playfully messed up her hair as she struggled to free herself. Sean watched them wrestle and felt the usual pang that hit whenever he watched Chad and Lauren together. The emotion was one he couldn’t put a name to, though he’d given it some thought. It wasn’t jealousy, it was just…

  He didn’t know what it was. Sometimes he thought Chad and Lauren’s shared ambitions made them more compatible than he and Lauren. Now that he knew Chad was just as interested in her, things had definitely changed.

  Yep, they were all knee-deep in a triangle and he was certain Lauren and Chad didn’t realize just how twisted.

  “Don’t you wish you knew for sure,” she teased.

  Sean put his feet back on the coffee table and chuckled, relieved they were finally acting like normal again. The past week had been awkward. Sean was anxious to have his friends back. “I can answer that question. Yes. She is. So what are you two fighting about?”

  “Professor Webster gave us a big assignment. Huge project that’ll take us the rest of the damn semester to research.” Lauren dropped down on the other end of the couch and started pulling off her shoes, tossing them aside. “Oh my God, I’m tired. Fridays suck.”

  “They’re not so bad. So what’s the assignment? I can’t imagine anything in a human sexuality class could be that bad. Anything I can help you research?”

  He gave Lauren a wicked look and she laughed. “Not unless you feel like donning leather and wielding a whip.”

  Sean struggled to catch his breath at her words, the comment striking too close to the vein of a secret desire pulsating through him.

  Chad chuckled and interrupted his thoughts before they could travel too far down that horny lane. “Jesus, Lauren. It’s a freaking research paper. Just Google your topic and be done with it.”

  Lauren shook her head. “That’s not good enough, Chad, and you know it. This project is sixty percent of our grade. Professor Webster said you needed to put yourself in the mindset.”

  “Mindset?” Sean asked.

  Lauren looked at him. “The topics were all different types of sexual preferences, fetishes, that kind of thing. Our assignment is to delve into our subject.” She turned to Chad. “We have to put ourselves in the shoes of a person who walks around in that skin all the time and analyze the psychology behind it.”

  “Great. More analyzing.” Sean’s tone showed his annoyance. “FYI, right now. I’m not gonna be the guinea pig on this project. You two have poked at my psyche so much these last few years, it’s a wonder I haven’t broken under the mental stress.”

  “Ha ha.” Lauren dug a hair band out of her jeans pocket and pulled her long auburn hair into a ponytail. “Your psyche is just fine, Sean. One of the reasons why you suck for the experiments. You’re too grounded, too well-adjusted.”

  “Come from hardy stock,” Sean teased, imitating his pop. “We Collins men are well known for our masculine—”

  “Oh God,” Chad interrupted. “Here we go with the Collins creed again. Leave that speech to your pop. He does it better.”

  Chad started rummaging around the room for the remote.

  Sean pulled it out from where it was tucked into the cushion next to him and waved it at Chad, then chuckled. “I’ll tell him you said so tomorrow at work.” He put the remote behind his back when his friend reached for it.

  “My turn,” Chad said, his hand outstretched.

  “Nope. Not watching the news. It’s always bad. I prefer the beauty of a mindless sitcom.”

  Chad scowled. “You know, I didn’t have to ask. I could just take it from you.”

  Sean beckoned him closer with a bring it gesture. Chad took a step toward the couch but Lauren interrupted them before the usual wrestling match could ensue.

  “Jesus. Do the words grow up mean anything to you two?” Lauren leaned against the arm of the couch, resting her feet in Sean’s lap and wiggling her toes. Chad backed off and Sean reached down to rub Lauren’s feet. “Ah, bliss. A Sean Collins foot rub.”

  He rubbed harder, in the way he knew she liked, as she shifted slightly. He tightened his grip on her feet lest she accidentally brush against his suddenly erect cock. He couldn’t touch her without rising to the occasion.

  Lauren sighed. “I can’t think with all that noise anyway. It’s not like you guys ever really watch it unless it’s sports. Give me the remote.”

  Sean stopped his ministrations to hand it over and Lauren turned the television off completely.

  Chad started to protest but Lauren ignored him, picking up their previous conversation. “We can’t poke into your mind, Sean, because I just told you, for this project, Chad and I have to delve
into our own psyches.”

  Sean glanced over at Chad and gave him a shit-eating grin. “That should be fun to watch.”

  Lauren smirked at him. “Yeah well, neither one of us is too thrilled about the subject matter we drew.”

  “It’s a stupid fucking project.” Chad plopped down on the recliner across the room and Sean studied his angry face. Chad rarely lost his cool, never showed much emotion, unlike Sean, who lived his life with his heart on his sleeve—another Collins trait.

  Sometimes it amazed him how long their friendship had persevered. Chad was serious, while Sean preferred to address everything in life with humor. Chad was a thinker while Sean lived on impulse and yet, despite their opposite natures, it worked.

  Sean turned to Lauren. “What topic did you pick out of the hat?”

  She blushed. Sean almost did a double take at the sight. While Chad was typically calm, Lauren was unflappable. Nothing fazed her. Now, in less than five minutes, he’d witnessed Chad’s anger and seen an embarrassed Lauren. What the hell was this project about?

  Chad smirked. “Tell him, Lauren. Tell him what mindset you’re gonna have to get into.”

  Lauren shot their friend a dirty look, and then she looked at Sean. “I pulled submissiveness out of the hat.”

  Sean laughed loudly. “No way. That should be good.” Lauren was as submissive as Attila the Hun.

  She narrowed her eyes. “Very funny. You know, despite what you guys think, I’m perfectly capable of acing this assignment. I’m open-minded, completely able to relate to all different sorts of people, I adapt easily. While this wouldn’t have been my first choice—”

  “Or second or third or twelfth,” Sean added with a grin.

  Lauren nodded in agreement. “Even so, this will be no problem.”

  Sean nodded, but he was sure his face was betraying his true thoughts. She was independent and strong-willed, firmly in control of her own destiny. He was fairly certain Lauren wouldn’t have a clue how to follow someone else’s lead, how to allow someone to call the shots for her, and he wondered how much of her impassioned speech was more for her sake than theirs.

  Sean grinned at her. “Sounds to me like you’re trying to talk yourself into the idea.”

  Lauren sighed. “Maybe I am. I’ll admit I’m a little worried about pulling it off.”

  Sean lifted one of her feet and kissed the sole lightly. “You’ll do fine, Ms. Four-Point-Oh. You always do.”

  “I appreciate your confidence. Now I just have to figure out why someone would choose to give another person so much power over them. To be quite honest, I can’t relate to the idea. Not even a little.”

  “When you say submissiveness, do you mean in a general sense or a sexual sense?” Sean asked, as a naughty idea invaded his mind.

  “It’s a human sexuality course,” Lauren said, as if that should explain it all. “I’m looking at it from a bedroom perspective, of course.”

  “So what you’re really researching is the idea of a Dom/sub relationship. I mean, you can’t focus on one without understanding the other, right?”

  Lauren considered his words then nodded. “I guess you’re right. I hadn’t thought that far yet.”

  “You know, I think I may have spoken too soon. I’d be more than happy to help you with this project.”

  Sean heard Chad’s chuckle and muttered “I bet you would” from across the room. He glanced over and for a moment, Sean was struck by the look on Chad’s face—a look that let him know his friend wouldn’t mind helping Lauren do her homework either.

  Lauren heard Chad’s comment too but she didn’t acknowledge it. “Very funny, Sean. I was kidding about the leather and whip thing.”

  Sean had caught glimpses through the years of Keira’s relationship with her husband, Will. Though nothing was ever said, or even overtly seen, Sean suspected their sexual relationship was built on the sort of premise Lauren now had to explore. The same idea that had Sean’s cock twitching in his jeans.

  He tried to let the subject go, knew he should let it drop, but thinking before he spoke had never been his strong suit. “If you have to get into the mindset, wouldn’t it be easier if you were experiencing some of the feelings, rather than just reading about them?”

  Lauren sat up, her face portraying interest. “Are you saying I should pretend to submit to you in the bedroom?”

  Sean shook his head. “I don’t think you can pretend, Lauren. If you’re serious about getting into the mind of a submissive, you would have to genuinely submit.”

  She frowned. “To you?”

  Sean wished he could understand the mixture of emotions filling her green eyes. “Why not? It’s not like we’re not sexually active.”

  “You would want to do that?” she asked.

  He nodded and just barely kept himself from saying “fuck yeah”. He didn’t want to scare her off, but if she knew how badly he wanted to command her sexually, she’d freak out. He’d hidden most of his more extreme desires. Now that their relationship had crossed the boundary from new and exciting to comfortable and predictable, he’d found it harder, rather than easier, to bring up the subject of doing a little experimenting in the bedroom.

  “There are years of trust between us, Lauren. You know I wouldn’t hurt you.” Sean was intensely aware of the fact Chad was in the room, listening to every word. What was his friend thinking?

  Lauren swallowed. “I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking.”

  “What would be holding you back?” Sean didn’t realize until he’d heard her topic how much he wanted to explore this aspect of his personality. Maybe this would be the trick to putting a spark back into their relationship. They’d only had sex once since her kiss with Chad on Sunday, and it had felt…off.

  “You really can’t think of a few thousand things that might be holding me back?” Lauren put her hands up, waving them as if looking for the words. It was a habit of hers, talking with her hands, moving them a mile a minute. Sean and Chad had threatened to tie her hands several times just to see if she could talk without them.

  Suddenly the image of Lauren standing between him and Chad, her hands bound behind her, sent his cock into red alert.

  “I don’t know. Let’s see if I can list them for you. Number one, I don’t take orders well. I never have. It wouldn’t be easy to just hand myself over to you in the bedroom and say ‘have at it’. Isn’t this Dom/sub stuff all about whips and cuffs and shit like that? I’m not a fan of pain, you know. I cry over paper cuts.”

  Chad laughed, entering the conversation. “Jesus, Lauren. I hardly think that’s how a Dom/sub relationship works. It’s more about an exchange of power. I mean, being submissive doesn’t mean being helpless.”

  Sean leaned forward. “Chad’s right. It’s built on compatible needs and desires, and trust plays a major role.”

  “But you’d also be letting someone test your limits. That’s part of it too. You’d be allowing someone to push you further than you ever thought you could go,” Chad added.

  “What if I’m pushed too far?” Lauren asked.

  Sean grasped her hand. “That’s where the trust comes in.”

  Chad was leaning forward in his chair and Sean could sense his friend’s genuine interest. “Think of it, Lauren. Imagine giving up control and letting someone test your limits, letting someone push you into an entirely different realm. Bondage, pain, sensory deprivation, sex in public, a ménage.” The last word was spoken more softly than the others, but it seemed to resonate louder than a cannon shot.

  The room fell silent, the air charged with something Sean couldn’t define. Though the conversation had been hypothetical, it felt like something much more and there was no denying Chad wanted to master Lauren as badly as he did.

  Lauren broke the uneasy silence, her voice tense despite her efforts to appear nonchalant. “Jeez. How many nights have the three of us sat together getting swept away in conversations like this? I have to say this one might take the cake
.”

  Sean shrugged. “Curse of living with two psych majors. All you two ever want to do is talk, talk, talk.” Psychology majors tended to confront things a bit too head-on for him sometimes, but the idea of acting on this particular conversation settled in his thoughts and wouldn’t let go.

  Ménage.

  What if they stopped talking and started doing?

  They were skirting around the issue, saying too much while saying nothing at all. It seemed to be a talent they’d all perfected over the years.

  Chad, clearly uncomfortable, rose. “I’m heading out, doing a late dinner with Lily tonight. It was her birthday last Friday, but I didn’t get to celebrate with her because Justin and K took her away for a romantic weekend.”

  Sean smiled. “Talked to Justin Monday. Sounds like they had a good time.”

  Chad gave a fake shiver. “Guess I’ll have to listen to all the gory, sickly sweet details tonight. You guys want to come with me?”

  Sean shook his head. “Hockey’s on tonight.”

  “I’m going to start outlining some ideas for my project,” Lauren said.

  “Sounds like I’m on my own. I’ll see you all later.”

  They listened as Chad grabbed a coat and his car keys, the front door closing behind him.

  Lauren handed Sean the remote. “I’ll take my laptop up to my room and work there.”

  Sean gave her a guilty grin. “I’ll keep the volume down if you wanna work in here.”

  Lauren laughed. “You couldn’t watch a hockey game without yelling obscenities if someone was holding a gun to your head. I’ll come down in a little while and throw in a frozen pizza or something.”

  “Sounds good.” Sean watched her head upstairs and he leaned back, not bothering to turn on the TV.

  He closed his eyes, picturing Lauren sitting on her bed, her laptop open as she looked at pictures of women submitting to their men. He imagined her on her knees before him, taking his cock into her sweet mouth as he directed her movements, his fingers gripping her hair tightly. Then suddenly Chad was there. Lauren moved between them as she took turns sucking each, first his cock and then Chad’s.