No Regrets Read online

  “Oh, I understand.” Vee could see Mrs. Henry was embarrassed by the state of the house and blamed herself. “You and Mr. Henry were wonderful to stay with Lady Tolley. She was fortunate to have such loyal servants. I’m sure you did everything you could to keep the house together and make your lady comfortable ’til the end. Your contributions to Waterplace and its owners have been invaluable.”

  Appeased with her praise, Mrs. Henry patted her on the shoulder affectionately. “You’re a sweet young lady. I hope milord finds your family soon. I’m sure they are fair distraught over losing you.”

  Mrs. Henry’s caring words were nearly her undoing as she felt a stinging behind her eyes and a pain in her chest. She hoped with all her heart someone was missing her.

  “Now, that’s enough of a tour. Ye’ve got the basic layout of the house. How about that breakfast I promised ye?”

  After breakfast, Vee was able, after considerable begging, to convince Mrs. Henry to allow her to help with some of the household chores. Actually, the only room Mrs. Henry would let her clean was the bedchamber adjoining Lord Benjamin’s. The housekeeper insisted it was the only other room on the wing with a roof she would trust not to leak besides the master’s chambers and Chelsea’s. Vee, knowing Mrs. Henry was overworked, persuaded her to let her prepare the room for herself as she didn’t think it fitting the lord of the house should give up his own room. Mrs. Henry, agreeing with this argument, opened the room for her, and then set off to do her own countless chores.

  Thankful to be up and doing something useful, Vee threw herself into her task. Her entire day was spent changing the sheets, airing the mattress and pillows, sweeping and scrubbing the floors and dusting all the furniture. Glancing down, she laughed as she noticed all the dirt from the room now appeared to be on her body. Her borrowed apron was filthy and her hands were pruny from the mop water. Unfortunately, the last chore was likely to be the hardest one to complete. The curtains were not only too dark for the room, they were filthy.

  “Weel,” she said to herself, mimicking Mrs. Henry’s accent. “I can take care of that in a jiffy.” Pulling the desk chair over to the window, she climbed up only to realize the tops of the curtains were higher than she’d realized. Cursing her height, or lack thereof, she looked around the room until she spied a small table by the fireplace. Testing its sturdiness, she dragged it over to the window before placing the chair on top of the table. Satisfied she could now reach the tops of curtains, she slowly climbed onto the table and then the chair.

  “Don’t look down.” She reached above her head to the curtain rod and experienced a strange sense of déjà vu. She paused, excited that perhaps her memory was returning. She remembered doing this very thing before, reaching above her head grasping for something, when—

  “What the devil are you doing?” A deep, angry voice asked from behind her. Startled, Vee felt herself beginning to sway.

  “Oh, no!” She teetered, arms flailing briefly before falling backward off the chair and into the arms of an extremely vexed Lord Benjamin Sinclair.

  “Oops.” She joked, hoping to erase the furor she saw in his eyes.

  “I will repeat, what the devil were you doing up there?” His face was mottled red, and his black eyes had gone even darker if such a thing was possible. He looked ready to do her the bodily harm he’d just saved her from.

  “Cleaning?” she said softly, suddenly aware she was still in his arms. He gave no indication of putting her down anytime soon.

  “Cleaning,” he repeated heatedly. “Cleaning what?”

  “My room?” She struggled, trying to escape his hold. “You can put me down now.”

  “I’ll put you down when I’m ready.” To prove his point, he tightened his grip.

  “But I’m too heavy.” She was uncomfortable with the idea of him discovering how much of her there truly was.

  “You weigh practically nothing. What do you mean your room?”

  Their faces were too close this way and she realized that up close he was far more handsome than she’d previously thought. His eyes were coal-black and his hair was magnificent. It wasn’t merely inky black, but an amazing array of colors as she noticed dark auburn and chestnut highlights blended in, and a smattering of silver at the temples. She had no idea there could be so many different, subtle shades of color in one head of hair.

  Briefly, she wondered about his age. In his thirties, she imagined. His tanned skin showed off the whiteness of his perfectly straight teeth and there was the most endearing cleft in his strong chin. Dear God, the man was entirely too attractive for his own good. And strong. Goodness gracious, but the feel of his muscular arms holding her was enough to make her swoon, if swooning was something she did, which of course she didn’t know.

  And once again, I look like a street urchin.

  Her dirty dress and hands couldn’t hold a candle to her straggly hair. Even now she could feel the strands that had escaped her inexpertly braided hair matted to her cheeks with a day’s worth of sweat and hard labor.

  Lord Benjamin cleared his throat, and her face flushed when she realized she was staring at him far too intently.

  “I didn’t feel c-comfortable staying in your room anymore, while you were s-sleeping on a couch, so I convinced Mrs. Henry to let me clean up a room for myself.” Her voice betrayed her discomfort in his arms. She sighed in disgust for sounding like such a weakling.

  “You’re not a servant, and I don’t expect you to clean my house.” He was oblivious to her uneasiness and still angry.

  “Ben, I mean, Lord Benjamin—”

  “Ben,” he interrupted gruffly. “You’ll call me Ben.”

  “I don’t think that’s appropriate. I mean you’re from the nobility and I—” She struggled for release once again before giving up. “I don’t think I am.” She was anxious for him to put her down so she could assume a more comfortable distance.

  “It is perfectly appropriate to call me by my given name if I give you leave to do so, which I have. Several times.”

  “Very well, Ben,” she answered, secretly relieved. Lord Benjamin was a mouthful. “I simply wanted to make myself useful. You and the Henrys have been so kind to me and I wanted to help. I know you’ve been working hard to make this house nice, and I thought perhaps I could repay your thoughtfulness by chipping in. Doing something of value.”

  “And you thought you would chip in by placing yourself in peril by climbing upon that chair upon that table?”

  Yep, he’s still mad.

  “I couldn’t reach the top of the curtains,” she replied with a sheepish grin.

  “Need I remind you that you’ve a serious head injury? What if I hadn’t been here to catch you when you fell? You could have injured yourself again even more seriously.”

  “Well, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t have fallen if you hadn’t startled me, and let’s face it, you can only lose your memory once.” She hoped humor would relieve some of the tension in the room.

  His eyes narrowed at her response. “You will not clean anymore rooms while you’re a guest here.”

  “But, Ben, I—”

  “I will not change my mind on this.”

  “Please, put me down,” she said, annoyed by his haughty attitude.

  “No.” For the first time, she sensed his anger had abated and he was now toying with her. “It would appear I cannot leave you unattended without worrying about what peril awaits you. You have a knack for injuring yourself. This seems to be the only safe place for you.”

  His words suddenly made her feel less safe than if she’d climbed on twenty chairs stacked upon each other. His eyes fell to her lips, and she had only a moment to react before he kissed her. She marveled at the tenderness behind the kiss. His lips pressed against hers with the lightest of touches, yet she was overwhelmed by the impact of it. It was an amazing kiss, as far as kisses go, and it made her entire body tingle, even her toes. As quickly as it began, it ended.

  Ben slowly release
d his hold on her, and she swayed slightly as her feet touched the ground. Raising her gaze to his, she noticed he was now the uncomfortable one. Confusion swamped her as she wondered what possessed him to kiss her, what caused him to stop and what she could do to make him kiss her again. She couldn’t recall if she’d ever been kissed before, but something told her if she were knocked on the head a thousand times in the future, she would never forget his kiss.

  Clearing his throat, he said, “I apologize. I should not have taken such liberties.”

  She smiled shyly. “That’s all right. I, I mean, that is to say, I rather enjoyed it.” Heat swamped her cheeks, and she had no doubt she’d turned a bright shade of red. Damn her blushing. Why couldn’t she act sophisticated instead of stammering like a teenager getting her first kiss? Of course, maybe it was her first kiss. God, she hoped not. How depressing to think she’d never been kissed before. Surely someone, somewhere in her past had stolen a kiss.

  “Nevertheless, I do apologize.” He bowed slightly in that rather endearing, terribly annoying way of his, leaving the room and shutting the door a bit too loudly behind him.

  Vee flung herself back on the bed, cursing her flushed face. Her humiliation soon turned to giddiness as she recalled the kiss. Smiling and touching her lips, she wondered again what prompted it. She was no raving beauty and Ben was entirely too attractive for her own comfort. He was tall, dark and handsome, rather like a prince in a fairy tale.

  She sensed she was not bold by nature, but in this place who was to say she couldn’t step outside the box a bit. After all, losing her memory was almost like getting a new lease on life. She could be anyone she wanted here because she didn’t have her past experiences to limit her choices or influence her decisions. And one thing she was sure she wanted was another kiss from Lord Benjamin Sinclair.

  Leaning against the door, Ben cursed himself for a fool. What the hell had he been thinking to kiss her? That hadn’t been his intention at all. Seeing her perched atop that chair set his heart to racing. Catching her in his arms, he’d felt compelled to hold on and never let go. She was a luscious armful.

  Good God. Never let go? What was wrong with him? He didn’t lose his head over women and certainly not over one who in all likelihood was a prostitute. For heaven’s sake, he was the son of a duke. The disparity in their stations could not be greater.

  But there was something about her that tied his insides in knots. She was unlike any woman he’d ever met before and not at all what he thought a courtesan would act like. She’d blushed after he kissed her. Blushed, for God’s sake. The woman was a complete enigma. Sometimes shy, sometimes bold, she was beautiful in an unassuming way and, though he hated to admit it, exactly the kind of woman his body cried out for. Her curvaceous hips and abundant breasts left him hard as steel every time he looked at her and holding her as he had only made matters worse. It had taken all his will to put her down.

  Accustomed to using his height to intimidate others, he found the opposite to be true for her. Vee’s small frame left him wanting to coddle and protect her. She was such a tiny little thing. The top of her head barely came to his shoulder. Pushing away from the wall, he walked back to his bedchamber. The last thing he needed right now was this diminutive package of temptation sleeping in the adjoining room. He had a house to rebuild, a business to start, and a little girl to…to what?

  What was he going to do about Chelsea? He couldn’t very well seduce a woman with a seven-year-old sleeping right across the hall. His ward was his first priority right now. If only she would speak. Ben was at a complete loss as to how to help her. The child seemed terrified of him and wouldn’t come within ten feet of him. Thankfully, she’d taken a liking to Mrs. Henry, and the dear woman was doing the best she could to care for her. But dammit, he couldn’t in good conscience ask Mrs. Henry to do one more thing. The poor woman was already filling too many roles in the house. He needed a governess and now. Each day, Chelsea seemed to retreat further away from him and deeper into herself.

  On top of all that, his trip to London had been a complete waste of time. Not only did his latest attempt to find a governess fail, but no one had reported a woman missing, which only reinforced Ben’s opinion that Vee was most likely a prostitute from the underbelly of the city left for dead. He had spoken to one of his friends at the Bow Street office asking him to keep his ears open for any word of a lady of the night who had gone missing, but he didn’t hold out much hope. Who was going to raise a fuss over a missing ladybird, especially if it was her madam who’d disposed of her?

  And how could he explain his suspicions to Vee? Explain to her that no one was coming for her, no one cared, no one considered her valuable enough to even look for her. Isn’t that what she’d just said? She wanted to be valuable. To help him in his endeavors. How she had escaped her previous life with her humor and her cheerful nature intact he would never know. All he did know was that no matter how he broke the news, she would be devastated.

  Chapter 6

  V is for Victuals (or a lack thereof)

  The next few days passed uneventfully for Vee as she sensed Ben was avoiding her. He remained holed up in his study, and whenever she asked Mrs. Henry about him, the housekeeper claimed the master was such a busy man he had to take his meals at his desk. Several times, she’d spied him leaving the stable on horseback, but she could never catch up to him before he made good his escape. Unable to help with the cleaning of the house after Ben’s admonishment, she passed the time walking the grounds, as the house was simply too dangerous for exploring and trying to find young Miss Chelsea, who was also nowhere to be found.

  Finally after nearly a week of solitude and unbearable boredom, she received an invitation to dine with Ben and a new dress from Mrs. Henry. The dear woman had reworked one of Lady Tolley’s evening gowns for her and Vee was amazed how well it fit. The neckline was disturbingly low, but she didn’t dare say a word, unwilling to hurt Mrs. Henry’s feelings.

  “It’s beautiful.” She hurried across the room to hug Mrs. Henry. “I feel like a princess.”

  Mrs. Henry was clearly uncomfortable with her show of affection. “Oh, go on now. It’s not every night a girl gets to dine with the master of the house.” Mrs. Henry, convinced of Vee’s humble beginnings, was apparently a romantic at heart. “Weel, get going girl. You don’t want to keep the master waiting. You’ll turn his head in that dress, see if you don’t.”

  Vee rushed down the stairs before pausing outside the dining room door. Her stomach was doing nervous flip-flops and she wondered how Ben would react to her new dress. She had taken special pains, mainly in her scalp, allowing Mrs. Henry to fix her hair in a style the housekeeper insisted was the latest. The time and hair pulling involved in acquiring the coiffure convinced her women would not subscribe to this fashion for long. Her long blonde waves were perched precariously on top of her head with several ringlets hanging by her cheeks and down the back. Tonight Ben wouldn’t see her as an invalid or rag-a-muffin, but as an elegant lady.

  Ben rose as she entered the room, crossing to meet her. He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a light kiss on her knuckles. “My lady, you look lovely.” His dark eyes confirmed he was impressed and she felt lightheaded, happy.

  “Flattery will get you everywhere.”

  He placed her hand on his arm and led her to the table. Pulling out the chair beside his, he helped her sit down as he resumed his place at the head of the table.

  “Mrs. Henry seems to have gone to a great deal of effort to make this evening special. I feel it only fair to warn you that meals are not usually this fancy, as I assume you have discovered. Wine?”

  “Yes, please. I’ll be sure to thank Mrs. Henry for her trouble. She certainly is a wonderful housekeeper. She remade this dress for me from one of your great aunt’s. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “I’m sure Aunt Mary never looked as exquisite in it as you do. That shade of blue suits you. It matches your eyes perfectly.”

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nbsp; She lowered her head at his compliment, sipping the wine, determined not to blush again and anxious to turn the conversation away from her appearance. He didn’t mention the kiss and for that, she was relieved. Tonight she would be charming, refined and a clever conversationalist.

  Unfortunately, in terms of witty banter, her mind was completely blank. Nothing new there.

  Mercifully, Mrs. Henry bustled into the room with a tray followed closely by Mr. Henry carrying a tureen of soup, breaking the uneasy silence. Vee had met the silent Mr. Henry at breakfast her first day out of the sick room and attempted to draw him into conversation only to receive grunts in reply to her comments. She assumed years of marriage to the outspoken Mrs. Henry had probably robbed him of the ability to speak. The housekeeper made it very difficult to get a word in edgewise. Perhaps after several years of marriage, Mr. Henry had simply stopped trying.

  “Ah, dinner.” Ben was also clearly grateful for the Henrys’ presence. “Mrs. Henry, you are a wonder.”

  Preening under his praise, Mrs. Henry placed the bowls in front of them, carefully ladling each of them a portion of a soup Vee couldn’t recognize. Ben thanked the Henrys as they left before turning his gaze to the bowl before him.

  “Chowder?” He picked up his spoon cautiously.

  “I was going to guess potato.” She followed his lead.

  “Yes, well, shall we?” he asked, somewhat hesitantly, almost as if he were hoping for the best.

  She was confused by his reticence. “Yes, I’m starving.” Dipping her spoon into the thick soup, she saluted Ben before taking a big bite and immediately froze. Her mouth was assaulted by the most repulsive flavor imaginable. No, flavor was definitely not the correct term. It was quite simply the most revolting taste she could ever recall, though granted, her memory was not long. She quickly glanced around the table for somewhere to spit it out before realizing that would be the worst possible thing she could do in front of the son of a duke. Swallowing heavily, unwilling to attempt chewing and prolonging the agony, she quickly attempted to stifle her unseemly choking with a healthy gulp of wine.